Mormon Funerals: An Event for the Church and Not for the Deceased

Can’t spell “funeral” without “fun,” right? Just kidding—Mormon funerals are anything but fun (unless you count the casseroles afterward). Today, we’re diving into the structured, church-first world of Mormon funerals—where grieving is kept in check, missionary work takes center stage, and even the clothing you’re buried in is dictated by church policy.

For those unfamiliar, Mormon funerals are highly regimented affairs. They are not just about honoring the deceased but about reinforcing faith and doctrine—because, according to the handbook (which we’ll get into later), a funeral is a church service, not a personal tribute. If that sounds controlling, just wait. Weddings in the LDS Church already strip couples of the ability to make their big day truly about them, and funerals are no different.

So, let’s break down what makes a Mormon funeral unique, the role of temple clothing, why so many Mormons smile through the grief, and—most importantly—how the church prioritizes its interests over the wishes of the deceased and their families.

Dressing the Dead: Endowment Clothing and Resurrection Preparation

One of the most distinct aspects of a Mormon funeral is the clothing. If the deceased was endowed (meaning they participated in temple ordinances), they are dressed in full temple attire—robes, sash, cap (for men), veil (for women), and sacred/secret garments (underwear). The church even has a rule that only endowed members of the same gender (or the spouse) should dress the body. So, if you were a woman who left the church or never received your endowments, you wouldn’t even be allowed to dress your own mother for burial.

There’s also the new name thing. In LDS temple rituals, members are given a secret name, and traditionally, it was believed that a husband would call his wife through the veil into the Celestial Kingdom using that name after death. That was the deal—women were made queens and priestesses to their husbands, while men were made kings and priests unto God. The wording has since changed to soften the husband’s role, but the undertones remain.

And here’s the kicker—women’s faces are typically veiled in burial, while men’s are not. It’s yet another remnant of the temple ceremony where women veil themselves as a sign of submission. What a lovely final statement.

Smiling Through the Tears: Why Mormons Seem Happy at Funerals

If you’ve ever been to a Mormon funeral, you may have noticed a bizarre level of… cheerfulness? It’s not that Mormons don’t grieve—they do. But crying too much can be seen as a lack of faith. After all, if you really believed in eternal families, why would you be sad? You’re just going to see them again, right?

There are plenty of stories of people being shushed for crying at funerals. One Reddit user shared that when she started crying at a funeral, her mother snapped, “You stop that. You stop that right NOW. People will think we don’t understand the Atonement.” Imagine being more worried about appearances than about a grieving child.

This is where Mormonism’s emphasis on outward expressions of faith kicks in. Just like missionaries are expected to smile through exhaustion, funerals are meant to be a display of spiritual confidence. It’s not about mourning—it’s about proving your belief in the Plan of Salvation.

The Handbook Rules All: Who Really Controls a Mormon Funeral?

As with everything in the LDS Church, funerals are dictated by the handbook—a guidebook so detailed that it even dictates what members should wear in death. The church teaches that a funeral is not about the deceased—it’s a church meeting and an opportunity to preach the gospel.

Some key policies from the handbook:

• The bishop presides. Even if the family wants a specific person to lead the funeral, the bishop gets priority.
• Missionaries are encouraged to stay in the field. If a missionary’s immediate family member dies, they’re usually counseled not to come home for the funeral. Instead, they might be allowed to watch via livestream.
• No video presentations. Want to show a slideshow of your loved one’s life? Sorry, that’s not allowed in the chapel.
• Tributes should not dominate the service. If you want to spend time truly remembering the deceased, you’re encouraged to do that outside of the funeral.
• Music is limited. Only sacred, approved instruments should be used—so forget that heartfelt guitar performance.

Mormon funerals are more about reinforcing faith than celebrating a life. In fact, many funerals double as a missionary opportunity, with speakers emphasizing the gospel more than the deceased. One Redditor shared how a bishop took a funeral as an opportunity to tell the non-Mormon attendees that they needed to be baptized. Because nothing says “paying respects” like a sales pitch.

The Afterlife and the Resurrected Body: Why Temple Clothing Matters

Why does it even matter what someone is buried in? Because in Mormon doctrine, the resurrection is a physical event. Mormons believe that after death, spirits go to either Spirit Paradise (if they were faithful) or Spirit Prison (if they weren’t), where they await resurrection.

The resurrection isn’t just a vague spiritual concept—it’s literal. According to Alma 11 in the Book of Mormon, “the spirit and the body shall be reunited again in its perfect form.” This means that any earthly imperfections—scars, missing limbs, even baldness—will be corrected. And yes, there have been leaders who heavily implied that being gay or non-white would also be “fixed” in the resurrection. Let that sink in.

Cremation and Burial: The Church’s Stance on Body Disposal

While the LDS Church doesn’t outright forbid cremation, it strongly prefers burial. The idea is that the body should be preserved for resurrection. In the past, cremation was strongly discouraged, and remnants of this belief still linger in Mormon culture.

In cases where cremation happens, the church handbook states that a priesthood leader should use his judgment on whether to dedicate the site where the ashes are stored. It’s an odd, backhanded way of saying, We don’t really approve, but we’ll tolerate it.

Who is a Mormon Funeral Really For?

A funeral is supposed to be about honoring the life of the deceased. But in Mormonism, it’s about honoring the church. The family’s wishes come second to church protocol, and personal tributes take a backseat to doctrine. It’s the final example of how the LDS Church dictates major life events—baptism, marriage, and even death itself.

I don’t believe in an afterlife, but if I did, I’d hope it would be free from arbitrary rules and patriarchal control. Unfortunately, for Mormons, the church’s influence follows them even into the grave.