r/Exmormon Explained

A dismissive phrase members often say about Ex-Mormons is “you can leave the Church, but you can’t leave it alone.” But after spending your entire life immersed in a belief system, moving on isn’t something you accomplish in a weekend.

The reality is that healing takes time, support, and a whole lot of empathy. That’s where r/exmormon on Reddit comes into play—a community that became a lifeline for me and countless others navigating life after Mormonism.

What is r/exmormon?

In the community’s own words, r/exmormon is “a forum for ex-mormons and others who have been affected by Mormonism to get support and share news, commentary, and comedy about the Mormon church.” Think of it as a virtual gathering place where you can vent, laugh, cry, and find people who just get it.

If you’re new to Reddit, let me break it down for you. Reddit is like the world’s largest online quilt, stitched together with threads of every topic imaginable. Each “patch” is called a subreddit, designated by r/ followed by the topic name—hence r/exmormon. So, the URL looks like reddit.com/r/exmormon. It’s a place where you can dive into discussions, share memes, and connect with others who’ve walked a similar path.

The r/exmormon Community

Just like any bustling city neighborhood, active subreddits on Reddit develop their own unique cultures over time. They create inside jokes, shared languages, and a sense of camaraderie that’s hard to find elsewhere. r/exmormon is no different. It’s a vibrant, sometimes chaotic, but always supportive community that’s evolved to meet the needs of those who’ve left the Mormon Church—or are in the process of doing so.

A Tapestry of Experiences

One of the first things you’ll notice about r/exmormon is the incredible diversity of its members. The community includes:

Deconstructing Ex-Mormons

People who’ve just left the church and are navigating a whirlwind of emotions—relief, anger, confusion, and everything in between.

Experienced Ex-Mormons

Those who’ve been out for years, even decades. They’ve built lives outside the church and often stick around to offer guidance and support or just enjoy the humor.

PIMO Members

This stands for “Physically In, Mentally Out.” These folks are still attending church, maybe due to family or social pressures, but internally they’ve moved on.

Doubting Mormons

Active members who are beginning to question their beliefs. They might lurk more than they post, cautiously exploring the community.

Prospective Members

People considering joining the Mormon Church—some even with baptism dates scheduled—who seek unfiltered perspectives before making a decision.

Never-Mormons

Curious individuals who’ve never been part of the church but want to understand the experiences of those who have.

Former Members of Similar Faiths

People who’ve left other high-demand religions and find common ground in the discussions.

A Culture of Empathy and Humor

r/exmormon has developed a culture that blends empathy with candid conversations. Leaving or questioning a religion can be a challenging experience, and the community aims to provide a safe space for sharing and support.

Supportive Environment

Members frequently share personal stories, and the community responds with kindness, advice, and solidarity. It’s not uncommon to see comments like, “I’ve been there, and it gets better,” or “You’re not alone in this.”

Candid Conversations

No topic is off-limits. Whether it’s dissecting church history, discussing doctrinal inconsistencies, or venting about awkward family dynamics, r/exmormon is a place for open dialogue.

Coping Through Humor

While many topics are serious, humor is sometimes used as a way to cope and connect. r/exmormon is one of the best places to find memes about Mormonism.

Shared Language and Inside Jokes

The community has its own set of acronyms and terms, like “TBM” (True Believing Mormon) or “PIMO” (Physically In, Mentally Out), which help members communicate more effectively. Community members will also frequently slip in phrases from the secretive sacred temple ceremonies as an inside joke.

Reflecting on the Phases of Faith Transition

Engaging with Mormonism—whether leaving, questioning, or considering joining—involves navigating complex emotions, and r/exmormon reflects these various stages:

Shock and Denial

Posts expressing disbelief about newly discovered information.

Anger

Rants about feeling deceived or betrayed by church leadership.

Bargaining

Discussions about trying to make the church work or finding a middle ground.

Depression

Sharing feelings of loss, isolation, or fear about the future.

Acceptance

Celebrating new beginnings and personal growth.

Members support each other through these phases, offering insights and encouragement from those who’ve been there.

Community Guidelines and Respectful Dialogue

Despite the range of emotions and opinions, r/exmormon strives to maintain a respectful atmosphere. The moderators enforce subreddit rules to ensure discussions remain productive and supportive.

r/exmormon Acronyms and Common Terms

As you navigate r/exmormon, you’ll likely come across a variety of acronyms and terms unique to the community. It might feel a bit like learning a new language, but don’t worry—once you get the hang of it, you’ll be right at home.

Here’s a list of some of the most common acronyms and topics you’ll encounter. Check the list u/Measure76 compiled for a more extensive list of acronyms used on r/exmormon.

• BoM: Book of Mormon, the central scripture of the Mormon faith, believed by members to be another testament of Jesus Christ. Members are taught it is the most correct book on Earth, but through my own research, now I see the Book of Mormon as fiction.
• BYU: Brigham Young University, the church-owned university located in Provo, Utah, with additional campuses in Idaho and Hawaii.
• CES: Church Educational System, the educational arm of the church overseeing programs like seminary and institute; often mentioned in discussions about church teachings.
• CES Letter: A letter written by Jeremy Runnells to the Church Educational System detailing his doubts and concerns about church doctrines and history; it’s widely circulated among those questioning the faith.
• COJCOLDS: The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, the official name of the Mormon Church.
• CTR: Choose the Right, a common Mormon phrase encouraging moral decision-making; often seen on rings worn by members.
• D&C: Doctrine and Covenants, a book of scripture containing revelations and writings considered sacred by the church.
• FAIR: Faithful Answers, Informed Response, an organization that provides apologetic responses to criticisms of the church; often referenced in debates about church history and doctrine.
• GA: General Authority, a high-ranking leader in the church hierarchy, such as apostles and members of the First Presidency.
• Gospel Topics Essays: A series of essays published by the church addressing controversial aspects of its history and doctrine; these essays are often discussed for their admissions and omissions.
• John Dehlin: A prominent ex-Mormon and host of the “Mormon Stories” podcast, which features interviews with individuals affected by Mormonism.
• JS: Joseph Smith, the founder and first prophet of the Mormon Church; central to many discussions about church origins.
• LDS: Latter-day Saint, a term for a member of the Mormon Church; also used to refer to the church itself.
• Letter for My Wife: An open letter written by a member to his wife explaining his reasons for doubting the church; similar in purpose to the CES Letter.
• MFMC: Mormons Facing Myths and Church, referring to efforts to address challenging aspects of the faith and promote open discussion.
• Mormon Stories: A podcast hosted by John Dehlin that explores various facets of Mormonism through personal stories and interviews.
• MTC: Missionary Training Center, where missionaries receive instruction and preparation before serving missions.
• Nevermo: Never Mormon, someone who has never been a member of the Mormon Church; they often participate in the subreddit out of curiosity or to support loved ones.
• PIMO: Physically In, Mentally Out, referring to individuals who still attend church and participate in activities due to social or familial obligations but no longer believe in its teachings.
• RMN: Russell M. Nelson, the current president and prophet of the Mormon Church.
• TBM: True Believing Mormon, someone who fully accepts and believes in the teachings and doctrines of the church without doubt.
• tl;dr: Too Long; Didn’t Read, used to provide a brief summary of a longer post or comment.
• TSCC: The So-Called Church or The Corporation of the President of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, a term used to critique the church’s corporate aspects and perceived lack of transparency.

My Experience with r/exmormon

Leaving the Mormon Church felt like stepping into an entirely new world. My life, beliefs, and worldview transformed in ways I couldn’t have imagined. Now, I no longer believe in God but I still remember how the world looked through the lens of my younger, devout Mormon self.

Back then, we were constantly warned against seeking information about the church from outside sources. Leaders cautioned that Satan was working tirelessly to weaken our testimonies through out-of-context church history, faith-demoting ideas, or outright lies and persecution. The message was clear: Stay within the approved channels, and don’t stray.

Even though I was familiar with Reddit, I avoided visiting even the believing Mormon subreddits. I didn’t want to expose myself to others’ faith crises or doubts. It felt risky, like stepping too close to the edge of a cliff. And r/exmormon? That was enemy territory—angry apostates actively campaigning against God and everything I held dear.

Looking back, it’s almost funny how misguided that perception was. When I eventually left the church—a process that was both painful and disorienting—I found myself seeking support and understanding. To my surprise, r/exmormon became a lifeline. The community offered more empathy and encouragement than I’d ever received from the “Christ-focused” environment I left behind.

Through each phase of my deconstruction—shock, anger, grief, and finally acceptance—I found relatable stories and compassionate voices on r/exmormon. It was a place where people understood exactly what I was going through because they’d been there themselves. The shared experiences made me feel less isolated.

As I healed, I transitioned from relying on others for support to offering support myself. It felt empowering to help others navigate their own journeys out of the church. r/exmormon became not just a resource but a community where I could contribute and make a difference.

Beyond the emotional support, the subreddit is a treasure trove of information. Members often joke that ex-Mormons study the church more diligently than its own members do. If you’re curious about aspects of church history, doctrine, or current events that aren’t openly discussed within the church, r/exmormon provides transparent, honest, and unfiltered insights.

It’s a space where you can learn about everything—from Joseph Smith’s history to the intricacies of modern church policies—even the things the church might not want you to know. The community doesn’t shy away from tough topics, and discussions are often enriched with sources and personal experiences.

In many ways, r/exmormon offered me the understanding and connection I desperately needed during one of the most challenging times of my life. It’s a reminder that healing often comes from the most unexpected places.

Conclusion

Leaving the Mormon Church is a deeply personal and often challenging journey. It can feel overwhelming and isolating, but communities like r/exmormon demonstrate the power of shared experiences and mutual support. Whether you’re questioning your faith, have already left, or are simply curious about the experiences of others, r/exmormon offers a welcoming space to learn, share, and connect.

The subreddit embodies a culture of empathy, openness, and yes, a fair bit of humor. It’s a place where you can find answers to difficult questions, receive encouragement during tough times, and maybe even share a laugh over a meme that perfectly captures your feelings.

Navigating a faith transition isn’t something you have to do alone. Resources and communities like r/exmormon can make all the difference, providing understanding voices and helping hands along the way.